Friday, December 31, 2010

Lesson #97

Ahh. All my 'holidays' (including my favorite - my b'day) turned out great this year. Alone or upset every step of the way (save All Hallow's). Ain't life grand? On a more optimistic note...

Lesson #97: No matter what misfortune, burden or devastation befalls you, never lose sight of trust. When the universe seems to be screaming, "Never
again trust any human!" have the insight to know it is not in fact the universe screaming, it is just one of many internal mechanisms attempting to protect you against further affliction & toil. Turmoil brings with it some of thee greatest realizations upon the most eye-opening of horizons that we would otherwise never be able to see on our own, stagnant in comfort. Never allow yourself to become blind in such times. Know through your pulsating flesh, in your shattered heart, your broken mind, that you MUST stay true... & never lose your trust. Especially when it is found in such sacred places.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Lesson #98

When chaos comes, go to the co-existent tranquility. The balance. Know it. Be it. Harmonize.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Lesson #99

So I'm starting 'lessons' posts here. I was thinking I should wait until the new year to start, but what the FUCK do I give a FUCK about the "new year?" As you all know, my new year is in Spring when the Earth renews itself. So...

Lesson #99: Always keep a stockpile of candles lying around.

EDIT: They improve mood like nothing else.

Friday, December 17, 2010

You used to always talk of there not being such a thing as true love. It was something that ate at you, tore you apart. Your fear of being alone and dying alone someday haunted you and kept you down. I always tried to comfort you and tell you that something like that was impossible because of how great of a person you were, that someday the right man would see you for who you truly are, cherish you, and never let you go. Well, I know you’re not around to see or hear it, but true love does exist. It’s not just something in stories, fairy tales and movies as you thought. For me, this entire year has been full of the ups and downs of unfathomable depth in co-existing with another person. My mind has been blown away over and over, and my view on life has forever been altered. I’ve met and shared time with true love. It has the same properties as fire – equal capacity of creation as well as destruction. And though right now it is in a destructive phase, creation will come out of it, and all in all, I can’t deny its infinite, unpredictable potential to make me feel as though I’m floating through life. It’s indescribable. The woman I have shared this experience with is incredible... but that’s an understatement. She is the best human I’ve ever met in my life. Since I met her I have truly enjoyed life to the fullest for the first time in my life. She is my equal. A rare bird. You two would’ve enjoyed picking away at me together I’m sure. I’m also sure you would’ve liked her. I wish you were here now so I could show you just how real and true it is. I wish I could tell you about all the amazing lessons I have learned. Maybe you’re out there on some alternate plane and you already know that such a thing can exist. Maybe not. I guess I just wish you could have experienced what I have. I know now that with this last year behind me, with all the unprecedented beauty and purity it brought, I could die tomorrow a grateful man. I am so grateful. Sad, but grateful. I just wish you could have felt what I have felt... maybe you would still be with us if you had. I can’t believe it’s been two years. I’m still in shock that you’re gone. Shannon, my dear friend... I miss you.

Monday, December 13, 2010

excerpt from Waking Up Insane by Deadboy & the Elephantmen

Scaring the ghosts away, wake me when I'm sane again
You are the smoke that is my breath
This bouquet of regret
Under the sky to live is to die
Radiation black the night and I
Don't seem like no sun exists that could eclipse this
Don't seem like no sun exists that could ever eclipse this

Saturday, December 11, 2010

This is a great song.

Universe by Prick

the universe keeps taking my jacket
and never explaining why
the universe, singing, painting
1-5-7-4-5-3-9
why?
below the sky is fine
but below the sea?...why?
your kiss is a home
my lips do not care why
the universe is my source
amusing, i reciprocate....why?
destruction, immeasurable
and seemingly pointless....why?
confused, bewildered, ambivalent
somebody explain why
cloud whispers, cloud wars
angels are truth
angels are a threat
to others.....why?

the universe keeps taking my jacket

no need in explaining...

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Friday, December 3, 2010



Sometimes I worry
but not on nights like tonight
because when I hear the wind blowing with such fury
I know it exists to resist
where we slow now but in time
we'll steady, the flow
no hurry


Happy Birthday Pete. I hope yours is better than mine bro